Yesterday was hard because I miscarried my baby. We ended up going to the emergency room after Jim got home from work. I had not yet seen an OB for this pregnancy so they told me to get seen in emergency. This was not my first choice because I knew it would be a long wait. We ended up being there from 6pm to 1am. We also had Julia with us because she will not go with anybody but me. She was so good the whole time even though she didn't sleep. In the end, the doctor said that I was in the middle of a miscarriage and had already lost the baby. I had pretty much expected that to be the case since early that morning. Thus yesterday was very emotional for us. Each one of my babies, however, has been a blessing to our lives even the two that we did not get to keep. It makes me see just how wonderful it is to be a child of God. He will always give me strength when I cannot make it on my own. I have read child loss poems from people who do not believe in God. To say the least, they are heart wrenching because they are full of despair, torment, and loneliness. That is not to say that we will not have grief and sadness as children of God, but through Him we have strength and hope. It reminds me of something James said the other day. My dad was talking to a woman from the store who had just lost her mother. He mentioned that I was expecting a child and somehow Matthew came up in the conversation. My dad told the woman that Matthew had passed on. James said, "Yes and now he is living in a better home".